Writing Excerpt: The Evil Villain
10:25
This week's excerpt introduces my villain, Hector. He's clever, slightly insane, very logical, and is trying to bring down a proposed law against mutants/people with superpowers. In this excerpt, Hector is sending a message to politicians, by kidnapping one of their children. Hector is more than slightly scary in this excerpt. Good job he's going to lose in the end, or I might start getting scared at the ruthlessness of my own villain!
*
The projector sprang to life, and Hector’s face appeared on
the screen. He sat against the same white background with the same silence as
last time. Sara clasped her hands in her lap. After the last message asking for
negotiations had failed, what would he have to say this time?
“Greetings. Last time I spoke to you, I was extending the
hand of peace, ready to talk about the Mutant Registration Act without further
violence on either side. However peaceful negotiations have been denied me. Let
it be known, whatever happens next is your responsibility. My message will be
heard and listened to eventually.” He spoke all this so calmly that it was hard
to connect this grave faced man talking in a level voice with the same man who
was willing to kill Mr Brand to send a message.
Sara glanced over to where Eric sat. His eyes were fixed on
the screen, and a frown creased his forehead. His fingers moved restlessly,
picking at the hem of his shirt. Then she turned her attention back to the
video.
“You may have noticed by now that a girl is missing. My
apologies to the parents. However you were not listening any other way, and I
need to get your attention. This is Chloe Perkins.” The camera angle swung a
little to show the young girl taped to a kitchen chair. Her arms were bent
around to the back of the chair. Duct tape lashed her chest to the chair as
well, and another strip covered her mouth. Her eyes stared out at them, tear
filled and pleading. Her face shone with the tears she had already shed.
“Chloe is twelve years old,” Hector continued in the same
hatefully serious voice. “She is not a politician. I doubt she even understands
what the Mutant Registration Act is all about. Maybe she has never heard of it
before. There are mutants out there, the same age as her. As innocent of the
meaning of this act as her. But unlike Chloe here, the act will change their
very lives. They will forever be known and hated as mutants. They will be hurt
by this act.”
The camera swung back to Hector alone, cutting off the
pitiful view of his captive. “I have no wish to hurt Chloe. But as you are
willing to sacrifice young mutants for this law, I am willing to sacrifice
Chloe to save mutants from this abomination.” And still that voice was ever so
calm. His face was free from either frown or smile. If only he would show some
sort of emotion. “Stop pushing this law, or Chloe will suffer. This is your
first warning. You have three warnings left.”
How is your Camp NaNoWriMo going? Tell me about your villain.
4 comments
I love Hector's motivation. A villain who wants to help mutants? Or is it all a ruse? Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy novel doesn't really have a villain. There are antagonists but the main conflict is man vs. self.
That's like a really interesting sort of conflict. I've never been very good at writing man vs self, but I do love to read it. Good luck with your book. You're doing Camp NaNo too, aren't you?
DeleteOh that's interesting. A villain who has a fairly legitimate motivation. He is creepy!
ReplyDeleteCamp nano is going slow but I'm enjoying it.
I'm so glad you find him interesting. I thought it would be interesting to have a villain with good intentions but really, really bad technique. It's interesting to explore that side of being a villain.
DeleteI'm glad you're enjoying Camp. I hope you're keeping up with your word count well. Good luck for the rest of the month! I know you can win!