Writing Excerpt: The Evil Villain


This week's excerpt introduces my villain, Hector. He's clever, slightly insane, very logical, and is trying to bring down a proposed law against mutants/people with superpowers. In this excerpt, Hector is sending a message to politicians, by kidnapping one of their children. Hector is more than slightly scary in this excerpt. Good job he's going to lose in the end, or I might start getting scared at the ruthlessness of my own villain!


The projector sprang to life, and Hector’s face appeared on the screen. He sat against the same white background with the same silence as last time. Sara clasped her hands in her lap. After the last message asking for negotiations had failed, what would he have to say this time?

“Greetings. Last time I spoke to you, I was extending the hand of peace, ready to talk about the Mutant Registration Act without further violence on either side. However peaceful negotiations have been denied me. Let it be known, whatever happens next is your responsibility. My message will be heard and listened to eventually.” He spoke all this so calmly that it was hard to connect this grave faced man talking in a level voice with the same man who was willing to kill Mr Brand to send a message.

Sara glanced over to where Eric sat. His eyes were fixed on the screen, and a frown creased his forehead. His fingers moved restlessly, picking at the hem of his shirt. Then she turned her attention back to the video.

“You may have noticed by now that a girl is missing. My apologies to the parents. However you were not listening any other way, and I need to get your attention. This is Chloe Perkins.” The camera angle swung a little to show the young girl taped to a kitchen chair. Her arms were bent around to the back of the chair. Duct tape lashed her chest to the chair as well, and another strip covered her mouth. Her eyes stared out at them, tear filled and pleading. Her face shone with the tears she had already shed.

“Chloe is twelve years old,” Hector continued in the same hatefully serious voice. “She is not a politician. I doubt she even understands what the Mutant Registration Act is all about. Maybe she has never heard of it before. There are mutants out there, the same age as her. As innocent of the meaning of this act as her. But unlike Chloe here, the act will change their very lives. They will forever be known and hated as mutants. They will be hurt by this act.”

The camera swung back to Hector alone, cutting off the pitiful view of his captive. “I have no wish to hurt Chloe. But as you are willing to sacrifice young mutants for this law, I am willing to sacrifice Chloe to save mutants from this abomination.” And still that voice was ever so calm. His face was free from either frown or smile. If only he would show some sort of emotion. “Stop pushing this law, or Chloe will suffer. This is your first warning. You have three warnings left.”

How is your Camp NaNoWriMo going? Tell me about your villain. 

You Might Also Like


  1. I love Hector's motivation. A villain who wants to help mutants? Or is it all a ruse? Very interesting.

    My novel doesn't really have a villain. There are antagonists but the main conflict is man vs. self.

    1. That's like a really interesting sort of conflict. I've never been very good at writing man vs self, but I do love to read it. Good luck with your book. You're doing Camp NaNo too, aren't you?

  2. Oh that's interesting. A villain who has a fairly legitimate motivation. He is creepy!

    Camp nano is going slow but I'm enjoying it.

    1. I'm so glad you find him interesting. I thought it would be interesting to have a villain with good intentions but really, really bad technique. It's interesting to explore that side of being a villain.

      I'm glad you're enjoying Camp. I hope you're keeping up with your word count well. Good luck for the rest of the month! I know you can win!


/*popular post image sizing*/